Good afternoon everyone!
I hope you are having a pain-free day, but if you aren’t just keep in mind that everything is temporary – even pain – so maybe later today or tomorrow you’ll get a reprieve from your pain.
Have you checked out National Pain Report? Just click on this link and you’ll go directly to the site. A lady posted a long post explaining her daily pain and how miserable she feels. I answered her and so did several other people. But the last post was from a gentleman who has had a terrible time. He was in sports in his 20’s and through a mishap broke his back. When his doctor looked at his back, he told him it was a mess and that whatever the doctor did for him would probably put him in a wheelchair for life. The gentleman went on to explain how he felt he had nobody to speak to, his marriage was rocky and right now, life isn’t going very well.
We’ve all been through this. Most of you don’t know me and wouldn’t know about my hell year of 2013. I just had SI Joint Fusion Surgery in December of 2012 and although my surgeon told everybody he “cured me,” well, he didn’t. The first few months of 2013 weren’t too bad. I was recouping from the surgery and finally took the leap of faith to go up the stairs where our television was set up so I could watch a movie. It was the hardest climb up and the worse climb down those stairs. Worse than when I had the Harrington Rods implanted. It really sucked. But Rick was there holding me all the way.
But what was worse was the fact my husband worked all day every day at Sears and I was alone until he came home. No calls from friends, only a couple visits, and that was it. I felt as though my entire life had changed and because I wasn’t walking yet, my friends couldn’t handle watching me try to move from the chair to the bathroom.
My therapist told me that they didn’t know how to handle the change in me. It made them uncomfortable and so, the easiest thing for them to do was not call or come by. Out-of- sight out-of-mind principle.
I hated that year. I was terribly depressed, lost all hope, and considered suicide. But we were out of milk. If you don’t understand what I mean, email me and I’ll tell you. I was sarcastic, unhappy, and always sad. And I cried all the time.
Well, in December of 2013 I realized that I really didn’t like me anymore. I wasn’t fun. And I was making life hell for Rick. So on January 1, I resolved to change my attitude and deal with whatever and where ever this pain would lead me. If a wheel chair was in my life, then so be it. If I walk with a cane forever, then so be it. If I never dance another dance…then I’ll have to learn to live with that one.
What I’m trying to say here is depression is a disease. And when you have feelings of hopelessness, sadness, crying, and despair…then it is time to see your doctor. There are medications to help you and maybe the doctor will get your cocktail right so you’ll begin to smile again and actually try to smell a rose.
There is always somebody out there who is worse off than you are – and I hated hearing that sentence, but it’s true. When I finally accepted it, then I began to live my life again. I don’t know if I’ll ever dance again (but I sure hope I do) and I don’t know if I’ll ever walk normally without a cane (but I sure hope I do)…but when it comes down to the scope of things…those are really 2 very minor things to be upset about.
I hope I’ve helped you a little bit today and please share this post with your friends. I’m hoping to begin a Chronic Pain Sufferers’ Group in the area I live. I think getting with other people who are going through the same thing can help you realize you aren’t alone.
May God bless you and keep you. And may tomorrow be sunny and pain-free!